My Depression Toolkit
Featuring 20 shows that will make you laugh out loud, even when you feel like shit.
Soooooo, last week sucked.
I woke up on Monday morning in the most pain of my life thanks to something called a pilonidal cyst on my tailbone (don’t Google it—it’s fucking gross), a condition that, apparently, is most common among hairy older men and truck drivers. Cute! I couldn’t sit, couldn’t walk, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t focus—all I could do was lay on my side in agony while watching Bravo and repeatedly asking my fiancé if he still loved me despite the fact that I was basically growing a tail.
Even worse than the physical pain, though, was the effect the whole experience had on my mental health. Being unable to work—let alone work out—sent me into a full-blown anxious spiral, and as someone who’s still in active eating disorder recovery, feeling like I had zero control over my body was a total nightmare. Add to that the fact that I was going through all of this extremely unsexy stuff in a studio apartment with a guy I’d like to maintain at least some sort of mystery in front of, and man oh man, was I a mess.
Thankfully, my tail is now gone, the wedding has not been called off, and the only pain in my ass is the eight-pound toy poodle I share an apartment with (phew!). Truth be told, I hadn’t planned on talking about this on the Internet—”girl with a growth” isn’t exactly the image I’m going for—but there was one silver lining that made it feel worth sharing. This whole sitch was far from my first depressive, bedridden rodeo, which means had some tools in my mental health kit to keep me from losing my shit entirely… and a lot of them actually helped.
Obviously, I’m not a doctor or a therapist, but I’ve seen enough of them over the course of my mental health journey to know that it’s really important to have an arsenal of practices to turn to when you’re feeling down (and not to wait until you’re in the midst of a crisis to figure out what they are). It should go without saying that caring for your mental health is an entirely personal endeavor and that what works for me may not work for you (also, I’m on Zoloft.). BUT, if there’s anything you can take from this list that might help you today, tomorrow, or somewhere down the road, it will make my new Internet reputation as “tail girl” feel totally worth it.
What I do
When you’re depressed, you don’t want to do anything, which really sucks because you sort of have to do something to pull you out of your spiral. I’ve found that it helps to have a few 10-minute, mood-boosting tasks you know will make you feel better. For me, this feels like the maximum manageable amount of time I can motivate myself for without getting overwhelmed, but still long enough to be effective. None of these practices are revolutionary—you’ve definitely seen them on a zillion wellness websites—but that’s because they work.
1. Go for a walk
#mentalhealthwalks became a thing during COVID, and I’ve made it a point to keep up the practice. Real science has shown that spending even 10 minutes walking around outside can have legitimate, positive effects on symptoms of depression, and my own experimentation has shown that doing it with a fancy iced coffee makes it even more effective. Triple points for whipped cream.
2. Journal
When I’m in my feelings, the last thing I want to do is sit down and deep dive into them (even though science says that, too, can help), so I’ve come up with a simple journaling practice that always seems to help:
Write down three things you’re proud of
Write down three things you’re grateful for
Write down three things you like about yourself
Some days, all I can manage to write is that I’m grateful for cheese and I’m proud that I’ve kept a dog alive for three years—and that’s okay! Shifting your perspective toward something positive, however seemingly stupid that may be, is a step in the right direction.
3. Do a quick yoga flow
Getting to the gym is often way more than I can wrap my head around when it’s hard enough to get out of bed, but rolling out a yoga mat and committing to a few minutes of gentle stretching in my living room is a whole lot more manageable. I love this “yoga for depression” flow from Yoga With Adrienne, which is essentially just 15 minutes of laying on a mat while her gentle voice soothes the shit out of you.
4. Take an everything shower
I fucking hate baths (Marinating in my own filth? No thank you.), so I’ve learned to remix my showers in a way that offers some of the same sorts of relaxing benefits. I’ll pop on a relaxing playlist or even bring my phone in with me so I can watch a trashy reality show, then take my time moving through an exhaustive hair and body-care routine—think: a lather/rinse/repeat, a hair mask, a double exfoliation, a full-body shave, and like three layers of lotion. This allows me to mindfully connect to my body and get out of my head, and when it’s over, there’s a 100% chance that I’ll feel at least a little bit better.
5. Make myself feel pretty
We’ve all heard the whole “when you look good, you feel good” edict, and it may be the beauty editor in me talking, but I genuinely believe it to be true. Luxuriating my way through my skincare routine, doing my hair, and putting on a little bit of makeup at least allows me to look as though I have myself together even when I’m feeling the total opposite. What’s more, moving through a routine helps distract me from the negative feedback loop in my brain, and when I’m done, I feel like I’ve accomplished something—even if that “something” is just putting on a moisturizer and brushing my hair. It’s a “fake it ‘til you make it” type of thing, for sure, but I swear by it.
What I Wear
Getting dressed when you feel like shit is zero fun. If you’re anything like me, all you want to do is curl up in a pair of ratty sweatpants and tell your hard pants to go fuck themselves. It’s a frustrating double-edged sword, though, because even though the last thing you feel like doing is putting effort into being cute, doing so can genuinely make you feel better. With that in mind, I’ve found a happy medium between my stained, threadbare college sweatshirts and actual outfits by way of these sweatsuits. Not only are they comfy and cute, but they also make getting dressed so easy because you don’t really have to think about it. When I’m wearing them, I don’t have to worry about looking like garbage if I run into an ex on one of my forced mental health walks through the neighborhood, which weirdly happens more than you might expect.
Tanming Women's Sweater Set, $50
QINSEN Women 2 Piece Outfits Sweatsuit Set, $47
MEROKEETY Lounge Set, $40
What I listen to
This playlist, or, when I’m really low, Stronger by Sam Feldt ft. Ke$ha on repeat. (Also, Giggly Squad.)
What I eat
#DepressionMealCheck was another pandemic-era TikTok thing that actually had some merit to it, and it inspired me to figure out what my own comfort meals are for when I’m feeling down. As someone with a history of eating disorders, it’s been extremely helpful to have a few go-to’s that I know are healthy enough not to scare me away from eating (… which is more likely to happen on a depressed day than on a normal one), are easy enough to make (or order in) so that I don’t feel overwhelmed, and will nourish and bring me joy. I hate the idea of offering any sort of prescription around what anyone should eat, but a few of my favorite go-to’s are: A big-ass bowl of cereal with berries; Chicken pad Thai; whole wheat pasta with butter, broccoli, and parmesan; and matzoh ball soup.
What I watch
When all else fails, I snuggle up in bed with my laptop and my infinite streaming service subscriptions and wait for the dark cloud to pass. In absolutely no particular order, here are 20 shows that make me feel better on even my worst-of-the-worst days. Some of them are extremely deep cuts (and none of them are The Office, Friends, or Parks and Rec, which also help), so, you’re welcome for that.
Odd Mom Out
Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce
Dollface
Summer House
Ted (yes, the one with the talking bear)
The Good Place
Curb Your Enthusiasm
The Mindy Project
The Bold Type
Cashmere Mafia
Lipstick Jungle
Schitt’s Creek
Never Have I Ever
Silicon Valley
New Girl
It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia
Veep
Cougar Town
Younger
Sex Lives of College Girls
This toolkit and these lounge sets are everything✨💖