I Cut 5 Inches Off My Hair After My Wedding, and I Swear It Wasn't a Cry for Help

In fact, it was my way of taking control.

After my wedding, I felt… lost.

Truth be told, being a bride had become such a huge part of my identity that I was having a hard time parting with it. The wedding had consumed my life for over a year—not just the planning, but the deep conversations with our families, the workout classes, the beauty treatments, the meetings with the rabbi, the late-night relationship talks. And then, suddenly, it was over. And I didn’t know who I was without it.

In the 15 months between our engagement and the big day, I had grown my hair out as part of my *~*bridal transformation*~* (which we’ll get into more in depth in a few weeks). It was the longest it had ever been, and was perfect for the looks I’d chosen to wear throughout the weekend. But as much as I loved it in Mexico, when I got home—and the transition from “bride” to wife” was officially complete—it just didn’t feel like… me anymore.

And, honestly, I guess it makes sense: I walked down the aisle as Zoë Weiner, and 45 minutes later walked right back up it as Zoë Zelin.

The bride-to-wife pipeline

If I’m being honest, I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my identity—especially because I’ve grappled with changing my name since before we were even engaged. But while I’m so excited to be Zoë Zelin (I mean, it’s a way cooler name), there’s a piece of me that’s struggled to let go of Zoë Weiner.